1) Whats the diff between gandhi, musharraf & lalu? gandhi-didnt know whats lie, musharraf doesnt know whats truth & lalu doesnt know the difference

2) Bindaas sone ka, rapchik sapne dekhne ka, Bhoot se nahi darne ka, bole to..aaina nahi dekhne ka.. GOOD NITE..

3) Are u a high scoring student?

Bored of gettin gud marks?

join M.S.UNIVERSITY. .
aur fark dekhiye sirf 3 saalon me..
marks se nomarks...
ab sach mein posible!

4) If i wud b a painter u will b my painting. If i wud b a author u will b my novel. If i wud b a poet u will b my poem but unfortunatly i m a cartoonist

5) "Boyfrnds" r like "Paanipuri" always tasty. "Lovers" r like "Pizzas" hot n spicy."husbnds" r lik"Dal Chawal"no othr option but good 4 health & wealth.

6) A young man tries to talk to a young girl......., I HAVE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE, the girl replied, "QUIET POSSIBLE I AM NURSE IN MENTAL HOSPITAL".

8) Ultimate thought:
if more than one mouse is mice; then more than one spouse is?

SPICE ! ;)

9) What is Marriage?
Ans: 1st yr: Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha na jaye

2yr:TVS-Meelo chalti muskan

3yr:KINETIC- Sabki hawa nikal de

4yr CHLORMINT-Dubara mat puchna!!

10) Teacher-can u define the word lecturer for me student- lecturer is a person who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

) Santa roj apni kichen me jata,sugar box kholta or band kar deta! Why ? Because doctor ne jo kaha tha ke apni sugar roj check karna....!

3) Tez
hava
ka jhonka
aya
sath me
teri
khushbu
laya
tab mere
dil me
khayal
aya
mera dost
aaj bhi
nahin
Nahaya

4) Na Moh na Maya hai,
Aalas tumhi ko aya hai..
Humein bhi Msg kar k dekh lo BETA,
NOKIA ne yeh Mobile Sirf Tumhari Girlfrend k liye nahi banaya hai...

5) MOSAM SHABAB KA, NASHA SHARAB KA,PARDA JANAB KA,AUR RANG GULAB KA,IN SAB SE HASEEN,IN SAB SE LAJAWAB DEKHO SMS PADNE WALA..MENDAK TALAAB KA.

6) Son asks father diff.btw Confidence and Confidential?
Dad says- u are my son, i am confident, ur friend is also my son that's Confidential.

7) A pregnant lady goes to one swamiji.The swami says when the baby get's delivered the baby's father will die!The lady says "oh thank god, my husband is safe..

8) Sustipur se Fresh Nagar tak jane wali morning xpress bathrm no.1 par khadi hai,SWEET yatrign se anurodh hai ki kripya apne din ki shuruwat nahakar karen.

9) Ultimate answer while changing d job.

Interviewer- Y did u leave ur last job?
Applicant :Coz d company shifted d office and didnt tell me where...

10) Lady: Muje Talak chahiye
SARPANCH: Magar vo to kabadi champion hai
LADY: Yehi problem hai khel k jaisa rat ko bhi sirf chhukar chala jata hai.
(Krishana Raghav)

1) Shayad firse vo taqdir mil jaye, jivan ka sabse hasin vo pal mil jaye, chal firse banaye sagar pe ret ka makan, shayad vapas apna BACHPAN mil jaye

2) Khuda hamko aisi khudai na de,
Ki apne siwa kuch dikhayi na de,
Mujhe aisi jannat nahin chahiye,
Jaha se mera Dost dikhayi na de.

3) Aakhon me kyun aansu jhalak jate hai,Tanhaiyo me kyun gham yaad aate hai,Aansu pochkar koi yeh bata de hume,Dur rehne wale dost hi aksar kyun yaad aate hai.

4) Chote se dil ke afsane bahut hai, zindagi se jyada zakhm bahut hai, mar dalti kabki ye duniya,kambakt pyaar ki duwayon me asar bahut hai

5) Mohobbat ki kashti me sawaar the hum,socha tha pahunch jayenge chahat ke gaon mein,dubne lage to hosh aaya,hum to baithe the kagaz ki naav mein.

6) Har insan ki alag phachan hoti hai hamare sms ki alag shan hoti hai har kisi ko nahi karte sms magar jinko karte hai osme hamari jaan hoti hai

7) Aye khuda ankho ko kuch aisi khudai de

jidhar dekhu udhar vo dikhai de.

kash aisa taalmel ho hawa me

unko pukaru aur unhi ko sunai de...

8) Har pal pe tera hi nam hoga,tere har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga, mushkilon ka samna himat se karna dekhna 1 din waqt B tera gulam hoga . ..

9) wo aankhon mein ashq liye bethe hai,
hum bhi unke pyaar pagal hue bethe hai,
hum to jaan dene ko bhi tayyar hai,
magar vo hamari jaan bane bethe hain..

10) Aaj fir kuch kami hai tere bagair, na rang hai na roshni hai tere bagair. Waqt apni raftaar se chal raha hai..... Bus dhadkan thami hai tere bagair!
(Krishana Raghav)

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.   Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me.   If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this.   You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes.   I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Paddy was in New York

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.   The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians. ."   Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians! " for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?" 

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.   He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney.   "Where are ye callin' from?"


------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .   The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor o f the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"



------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees.

"Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch!   What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy.   He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.   As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.   A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.   He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

"Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it' s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

For one human being to love another that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation.

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.

Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart, or its flame burns low.


You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.

Treasure the love you receive above all.
It will survive long after your good health has vanished.


The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.


Love works in miracles every day: such as weakening the strong, and stretching the weak; making fools of the wise, and wise men of fools; favouring the passions, destroying reason, and in a word, turning everything topsy-turvy.
 

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´*.
*´¨)
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ *****
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1) Tumse milkar ho gaya zindagi se pyar,ab hume chhod kar mat jana yaar,bin tere hum jee na payenge,tum na hoge to hum
.
.
.
.
.
.
ULLU KISKO BANAYNGE.

2) Ab itni rat ko apun apko kisi baba ka satsng sunane k liy msg nai kia Comnsense ki bat hai ki apko gud nite bolne ka tha.Chalo ludak jao..Good Night...

3) Santa bought new radio & took it 2 toilet.Wen came out banta askd:hw ws it?Santa:yaar romantic songs chal rahe the bade maje se potty ki. Then banta took
radio 2 toilet & when came out santa askd:kaisi rahi? Maja aaya? Banta:kaisa maja!Salo ne jan-gan-man laga diya,sari ki sari khare ho k karni padi.

4) Ashwarya-Main tere liye sab chod dungi,Abhishek- ma bap,Ash-han, Abhi-bhai behen,Ash-han, Abhi-films, Ash-han,Abhishek -Aur VIKASH ko bhi?Ash-Apni aukat me reho.

5) Blockbuster film- SINGUR NIYE KHELA. Action hero- BUDDHADEB. Dustumisti nayika- MAMATA. Athithi silpi- MEDHA PATEKAR. Producer- RATAN TATA. Kritagyata
sikar-WB.

6) Puri botal na sahi,ek jaam to ho jaye,milna na sahi dua salam to ho jaye,jinki yaad mai hum bimar pade hai kam se kam unhe jukam to ho jaye..Wah... Wah
wah..Ab

7) PYAR VYAR to 1 bahana hai.. Ankh mile na mile LIPS ko milana hai.. Yehi style hai sab ASHIQON ka kya kare yar RAJ KAPOOR ka nahi IMRAN HASHMI ka zamana
hai.

8) A Rose Rs.7

A Card Rs.25,

A Lunch Rs.200,

Movie Rs.150

But a friend like u

is"Priceless" ...

Zyada udo mat...

Priceless bole to "FOKAT"!

9) u stole my memories i excused !u stole my peace i excused !u stole my smile i excused u!bt this is 2 much! mere doggie ka biscuit vapis karo

10)
__,__
/____/,? .;';';.,
,,l__,_ l l ,,,,)(,,,
This house is gift 4 u. So plz go inside and sleep well. Aur haan aaj se road pe sona bandh!!

1) Aap na hote to hum kho gaye hote,apni jindgi se ruswa ho gaye hote!ye to aap ko gd morning kehne k liye uthe hai, varna hum to abhi bhi so rahe hote.

2) Pearl of the Day: Aap ki Har Subah Muskurati Rahe, Har Shaam Gungunati Rahe. Aap Jise Bhi Mile Aise Mile ki, Aap ke Milne se hi Unka Chehra Khile. Gud Mrng.

3) Karni hai khuda se ek guzaarish.. teri yaari ke siva koi bandagi na mile.. har janam mein mile yaar tere jaisa ya phir kabhi zindagi na mile

4) Khyal tha ki hum tujhe razdan bana lete
Magar ye log nayi dastan bana lete
Tu ek baar muhabbat se dekh leta to hum
Zamin khud ko tujhe aasman bana lete

5) Kaash
sab log
ek jaise hote.

Ek
HUM
HAIN,

jo
messg
nahi

apna
dil
bhejte hain.

Aur
ek
AAP
HAIN,
jo
dil rakhne ke liye bhi
msg nahi bhejte

6) Woh mulakaat kuch adhuri si lagi..
Paas hokar bhi duri si lagi...
Honto pe hansi, aankho mein nami...
Pehli baar kisi ki dosti...
Saanso jitni zaruri si lagi...

7) Manzil Unhi Ko Milti Hai,Jinke Sapno Me Jaan Hoti Hai,Pankh Se Kuch Nahi Hota,Hauslon Se Udaan Hoti Hai.

8) Kuch RAAZ ase hote hay jinhe hum bol nahi sakte,

kuch DIL ase hote hay jinhe hum tod nahi sakte,
kuch LOG aap jase bhi hote hai jinhe hum chod nahi sakte

9) AANKO ME AAKE SUKH JAATE HAI AANSU,
PALKON ME AAKE TOOT JAATE HE ANSU.
DIL KARTA HAI K BAHADU UNHE,
PAR AAPKO HASTE DEKHAR SUKH JAATE HAI AANSU...

10) Jab b aapki yaad aati hai,

mere honthon pe ye fariyad aati hai,

khuda khush rakhe aapko hr haal me,

kyunke hmari khushi to aaj b aap ki khushi ke baad aati hai.

1) If a cat crosses u, wen u r going sumwhere it means
?

?

tat d cat is also going sumwhere....

2) Some Romantic Chocolates:

KIT KAT - Kiss In Time, Kiss At Touch.

DAIRY MILK - Darling Always I Remember You, Meet Immediatly for a Long Kiss.

PERK - Personal Emotional Romantic Kiss.

MUNCH - Most Unforgetbale Naughty Cool Hug.

3) PYAR karoge paresan rahoge,
SHADI karoge shansari banoge.DIVORCE doge devdas banoge,
hamse dosti karoge BIDNASH rahoge...!

4) Om namah SHIVAY!
Om sai RAM!
Wahe GURU!
Jai sri KRISHNA!

Dar mat!
Kisi ko forward nahi karna hai....

Khud hi jap le....

"P A A P I"

5) Santa:yar aeroplane itna bada hota hai to usse paint kaise karte hain?Banta:aeroplan e jab udte hue CHOTA sa dikhta hai to phata phat uspe paint kar dete
hain.

6) Waiter gives bill 2Sardar Sardar:Take this card.Waiter: But sir,this is Ration card.Sardar: So what?U hv written there- ALL CARDS ACCEPTED.

7) MASTERJI(Class me)-agar sache dil se bhagwan se prathna ki jai to wo puri hoti hai. LADKE-rahne do sir,agar aisa hota to aap Jinda na Hote ...........

8) Kabir ka DOHA..... MISS U MISS U sab kahe, par actualy miss kare na koi. Agar koi kisiko miss kare to fir SMS band qu hoe!!!

9) Ek nayi jodi shadi k baad ashirvad lene k liye politician k pas gayi politician bola;hum ashirvad nahi dete,hum to sirf udghatan karte hain

10) Kish kish ke mehfil mein,kish kish ne,kish kish ko"KISS"kiya. EK wo tha jo har "KISS"ko miss kiya.EK MEIN THA,jo har "MISS"ko "KISS"kiya.

1) Aapse milkar khuda ki ibadat bhool gaye,
Aapki adayein dekh ke apni aadat bhool gaye.
yeh kaisa jaadu kar diya hai aapne
,Aapko chake duniya ki chahat bhul gaye

2) Is dil ko to bas teri yaad aati hai,aur is dil ko udaas kar jati hai,Koi poochta hai tumse pyaar kitna hai kuch nahi keh pate bas aankh bhar aati hai.

3) Jise ham kab se bhulaye baithe the,Wo aaj achanak hi yaad aa gaye,Jis gam ki barish ne kiya tha barbaad,Usi barish ke badal aaj phir cha gaye.

4) tere ishq me jeete hai tere ishq me marte hai,
tum khus raho sirf yehi dua hum kiya karte hai.
duniya ki to hume parvah nahi bas tumhe khone se darte hai.

5) jo sach nahi hai wo sapna hai,sapno se sikayat kaun kare,jo dard diya wo apna hai,apno se sikayat kaun karey.

6) Koi achi si saza do mujhko,Chalo aisa karo bhula do mujhko,Tum say bichroun tou moot aa jaye,Dil ki gharioun say dua do mujhko..

7) Hamare zakhmo ki vajaha bhi woh hai...hamare zakhmo ki dava bhi woh hai,woh namak zakhmo pe lagaye toh kya hua,mohabbath karne ki sazah hi woh hai.....

8) Par haste haste Kabhi woh bhi roye honge...Yadon me hamari woh bhi khoe honge,khuli aankho se kabhi woh bhi soye honge,Mana hasna hai Aada Gham Chhupane
ki,par haste haste Kabhi woh bhi roye honge...

9) Kyu dil mai koi arman nahi duniya itni viran nahi har taraf ujale hai phirbhi tere sath koi saya hi nahi koi bhi tera ho sakta hai kabhi tune apnayahi nahi

10) Insano ke kandhe pe insaan ja rahe hai.kafan me lipte kuch armaan ja rahe hai.jinhe nahi mili mohhobat duniya mein.mohhobat pane woh shamshan ja rahe the.

Har ahat ehesas hamara dilayegi
Har hawa kissa hamara sunayegi
Hum itni yaadein bhar denge
Na chahate hue bhi aapko yaad humari aayegi.

Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi….

Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge.

Badi muddat se chaha hai tumhe
Badi duaaon se paya hai tumhe
Thuje bhulane ka sochu bhi kaise,
Kismat ki lakiroon se churaya hai tumhe

Phool juda hai kato se,
Khushbu se nahi,
Hum juda hai unse,
Magar dil se nahi.

 Royengi ye aankhein muskuraane ke baad,
Aayegi raat din dhal jaane ke baad,
Tum kabhi naa ruthnaa mujhse ae yaar,
Shayad ye zindagi hi na ruth jaaye,
Tumhare ruth jaane ke baad.

Nakaam si koshish kiya karte hai,
Hum hai ke unse pyar kiya karte hai.
Khuda ne taqdeer mein 1 tuta taara nahi likha,
Aur ek hum hai ke chand ki aarzu kiya karte hai!

Muskurane ki vajah kya jane hum
Hum to unki yaad ko tazaa karte hai.
Kambakth ye hasi bhi aisi hai ki
Unki judai mein bhi ro kar muskurati hai.

Jaam pe jaam peene se kya fayeda,
Raat guzri to utar jayegi,
Kisi ki aankhon se peeyo khuda ki kasam,
Umr saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.

Log kehte hain ke ishq itna mat karo,
Ke husn sar pe sawar ho jaaye,
Hum kehte hain ke ishq itna karo,
Ke patthar dil ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaye……

Har dil ki dhadkan main koi baat hoti hai,
Har udas zindagi main kisi ki yaad hoti hai,
Tume pata ho ya na ho tumhari,
Har khushi ke piche humari duaa hoti hai.

 (Krishana Raghav)

1) Luv Holds Heart,Heart holds feelings,feelings holds emotions,emotions holds tears,tears are held by eyes,eyes hold U,B'coz U hold frendship.

2) The wrd TRUST is the basis of all relations bt a smal mistak made in nyway can change its entire meaning.. like the Missing letter 'T' can 'RUST' the
relation..

3) Dont get rest after a success. People say ur previous victory as a luck in ur next failure.. Keep on working.. success is always urs..

4) Loving what u get is compromise.. . Getting what u love is success... Loving even after knowing that u won't get it is Pure love...!!
Good Night...

5) If u have a heart that obeys ur mind u can win the whole world....
If u have a mind that obeys ur heart u can win the love of so many hearts.N think +ve always!

6) A cup of hot hello's, A plate of crispy wishes, A spoon of sweet smiles & A slice of great success. Hope this breakfast makes ur day lovely.

7) 'Flower'means
"Honey",
'Honey'means
"Sweet",
'Sweet'means
"Desire",
'Desire'means
"Love",
'Love'means
"Friend"
'Friend'means
"YOUUUUUUUUUUU

8) Never search your happiness in others it will make you feel alone. But search it in yourself, you will feel happy even if you are alone.

9) U can close ur eyes to things u dont want to see. But u cant close ur heart to things u do no want to feel.

10) One of the best message I've ever read: "If u desire to blossom like a rose in the garden, first u have to learn the art of adjusting with the thorns."